ARGUING STYLE QUIZ

April 2, 2010 at 01:01 | Posted in Everything | 12 Comments

Arguing Style

What does your score mean?

The results of the test you just took suggest that you have a lot to learn when it comes to your fighting style. This does not mean that you are solely responsible for the destructive power of arguments with your partner, but your ineffective tactics certainly play a part. Instead of a joint effort to resolve the matter at hand, your attacks contribute to your partner’s defensiveness and unwillingness to admit any mistakes. Your arguments turn into a fierce fight over who is wrong, whose fault the problem is, who will end up with more power, or who will feel more humiliated.

… [:D] …

You might have very good reasons for using poor fighting tactics. Maybe you had a bad example in your original family. Maybe you have been badly hurt in the past. Or maybe your present partner fights inadequately. Insight into the origins of your fighting style might help but by itself will not solve the problem. You need to make an effort – a lot of thinking, reading, some more introspection, and finally, learning how to incorporate the newly acquired knowledge into your everyday behavior. Obviously, it would be great if your partner joined you in this quest for a better relationship, but if s/he resists, you can start by yourself. If you start arguing differently (with clear ideas about what you want, a solid stance and fair tactics), your partner will have no choice but to adjust, because the vicious circle will have already been broken by you.

This thing seems to be about arguments in relationships but most of it applies to normal arguments too.

http://discoveryhealth.queendom.com/arguing_short_access.html

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12 Comments »

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  1. NIGGANIGGANIGGANIGGANIGGANIGGA

    SEGREGATION

  2. I am so taking this

  3. Lol I got 40
    The results of the test you just took suggest that you have a lot to learn when it comes to your fighting style. This does not mean that you are solely responsible for the destructive power of arguments with your partner, but your ineffective tactics certainly play a part. Instead of a joint effort to resolve the matter at hand, your attacks contribute to your partner’s defensiveness and unwillingness to admit any mistakes. Your arguments turn into a fierce fight over who is wrong, whose fault the problem is, who will end up with more power, or who will feel more humiliated.

    You might have very good reasons for using poor fighting tactics. Maybe you had a bad example in your original family. Maybe you have been badly hurt in the past. Or maybe your present partner fights inadequately. Insight into the origins of your fighting style might help but by itself will not solve the problem. You need to make an effort – a lot of thinking, reading, some more introspection, and finally, learning how to incorporate the newly acquired knowledge into your everyday behavior. Obviously, it would be great if your partner joined you in this quest for a better relationship, but if s/he resists, you can start by yourself. If you start arguing differently (with clear ideas about what you want, a solid stance and fair tactics), your partner will have no choice but to adjust, because the vicious circle will have already been broken by you.

  4. About Arguing
    We might wish for an ideal relationship. One in which our partner anticipates all our desires, keeps the passion burning indefinitely, fulfills all our needs before we even realize we have them, showers us with attention and unconditional love, is always there for us, gives us just enough space, genuinely agrees with our opinions, shares the same values, has the same approach to parenting, knows exactly what to say to make us feel good, and says it at the right time, is great with our kids, families, and friends, is good-looking, charming, considerate, and appreciative. We might wish for it, but it would be unreasonable to expect that such a person exists. Besides, after a while, being with such a great-all-over person would get pretty darn annoying, making our little flaws seem huge in comparison, helping us to build up resentment, intensified by the recognition that there is really nothing to resent, except for our partner’s perfection.

    Once they leave the initial stage of the relationship (a period that is as close to the ideal as it gets), real couples have to face quite a different scenario. We realize that if we are to be together, there are many things to be negotiated. Many of these can be solved by peaceful discussions, but many conflicts provoke hurt, anger, defensiveness, aggressive feelings, bitterness and other strong emotions. In a long-term relationship, it is nearly impossible to avoid negative feelings, misunderstanding and conflict. Some people solve it by eluding all relationships beyond the limit of the initial infatuation and their evasive maneuvers result in a perpetual chain of short-term courtships, where passion is imperative but real intimacy and commitment are missing. Others give it a sincere try but eventually give up because the same conflicts go unresolved for years and the couple move in circles, slipping into an old inefficient pattern every time they start arguing about an important issue. Yet others learn how to communicate and solve conflicts efficiently, which helps them to experience the beauty of mutual understanding, fulfillment and deep intimacy.

    Conflicts might be inevitable in a long-term relationship. However, destructive fights, that lead nowhere except to hurt, defensiveness, disappointment and resentment, can certainly be avoided. Negative, even aggressive feelings can be vented and resolved in a constructive argument before they are bottled up and start spoiling the positive aspects of the relationship. A healthy relationship has room for open confrontation and constructive criticism. If the couple fights constructively, the arguing becomes less frequent, and communication becomes more effective. The relationship becomes a ground for personal growth. The partners get past their defensiveness and start to work out their inner conflicts, to heal old wounds, get over their insecurities; simply put, they evolve as individuals and as a couple.

    Results of Your Arguing Style Quiz
      Arguing Style

    Your score = 80

    What does your score mean?
    The results of the test you just took indicate that you are an excellent fighter. For the most part, you argue constructively, with respect for your partner and understanding of his/her positions. It must be a pleasure to fight with you : )

    Just for your reference, below, you will find a concise guide to constructive arguing and to recommended books on this topic.

  5. i’m takin this when i get back to the kaintuck shack

  6. (Y)

  7. STUPID NIGGAS DOWNRATIN DONT BE HAYTIN ANYWAYS I KNOW THAT DICKSUCKER ZEON DID IT

  8. NIGGAS NIGGAS NIGGAS NIGGAS

  9. Nigga ya TRAPPED cause ya CLAP QUICK and THATS IT,
    The rhymes you SPIT are SHIT all my COMPOSITIONS ARE LEGIT,
    FUCKIN RAPE THE MINDS OF THE CHILDREN AND ADULTS IN THIS VICINITY
    CAUSE ILL MAKE YA SHOCKED TA DEATH LIKE YA LOSIN YA VIRGINITY,

    BITCH ILL TERRORIZE YA MASCULINITY ILL MAKE YA ITCH I GOT THAT TENDENCY,
    COVER YA EARS AND YA EYES THERES EXCESSIVE VIOLENCE IN THIS PROXIMITY
    YA HAD ZERO REPUTATION TILL I ATTRACTED THIS LEVEL OF PUBLICITY
    ADJACENCY SCREAMIN FINISH HIM YA PRAYIN LIKE IM SOME KINDA DIVINITY.

    Well ya hooked me up on that one from all those ‘niggas’. Just couldn’t help it

  10. :>

  11. sinister – noun, a true rap, non-shit style artist that blows your mind with the verses it spits

  12. Enawcks ain’t frontin


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